I have held on long enough now and can’t let go with just a plaintive whimper.
I have become accustomed to the pain in my limbs; to your complaints and your frustration; to my anguish and to our helplessness as a whole. We ventured on this journey together even while we knew that there was no destination for us. The moment we took the first step out, we knew we were headed for doom. There was no promised land, no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow just an abated abandonment of hope that we knew would slowly gnaw its way into our being.
I know I will have to face the scourge of my life sooner or later and some day when my luck runs out, your shackles will become my nemesis. I can still choose to just let you take the fall and run away but somewhere along the line, holding on to you has become a necessity of sorts and I can’t retreat now.
When I vied for salvation, I saw no light. My road was paved with misgivings and purposeless submissions, prioritizing pleasure over happiness, struggles of survival and probably a lack of courage to keep my spine straight. I can’t escape my judgment day and I hope that when my trial begins, it leaves me with enough breaths to see you next to me, once again.
My journey will perhaps never end now. From an unfathomable wait to an abysmal fall, I will be hurled headlong into a bottomless perdition, floating from one form to another, relentless, unforgiving and rising time and again to claim a piece of you, one bite a lifetime.
I will hold on to you for this lifetime and beyond, hoping against hopes that we will have another chance; that we will be able to brave it all and stand tall some day; that you will just not die waiting for things to change; that I will have enough strength to be able to pull you out and that we will script it all the way we want.
Till then, bear with me. Let’s persist and endure another day, another sunset. Hang on…just another day, another breath.
The image above is ‘Gravity’ by famous sculptor Lorenzo Quinn
2 comments :
Speechless! You are an amazing writer.. you should devote more time to it and keep your readers glued to this space.. your reference to Judgment reminded me of Shakespeare's sonnet 55, "so till the Judgment yourself arise, You live in THIS and dwell in the lovers' eyes".. talks about immortalising someone through verses.. keep up the good work!
Thanks a ton for all your kind encouragement Roopa. Glad you like this abstract, useless stuff :)
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