Tuesday, September 9, 2014

She was there sitting next to me on the same bench overlooking the lake. The blue sky was flanked by puffy white clouds. A few birds chirped on the cherry trees lined up along the road by the lake. The lush green grass complimented the sky and a cool breeze brought about a serene calm to the soul. There was a faint rainbow at the far end of the sky just behind those trees where a pair of doves flew by. I looked at her. She seemed to be twenty years younger than how I knew her. In fact she looked exactly the way I had first seen her.

I kept looking at her and wanted to tell her how I always felt for her. Time had worn us out, wrecked our bones more than once and thickened the blood in our veins. Yet, that moment my limbs felt lighter, I knew I could run faster than ever before, maybe even fly. The heart felt fresh, young and eager. I didn’t need my glasses, my touch was firm. I felt alive just looking at her face. Her youth had spilled over on my ailing self and rejuvenated me perhaps.

She saw me looking at her and smiled. The spark in her eyes lit everything around. The Sun came out from behind the clouds and enveloped my soul into its golden blanket. I felt blessed, thankful to have just known her. It was at this moment that I reached out to her and held out my hand to hold her fingers in my palm. She smiled again and in a swift wave flowed out of my reach. The white clouds had perhaps descended and she seemed to merge into those clouds, smiling and teasing me from behind those cotton curtains.

I wanted to call out but my voice wouldn’t leave my throat. I looked around. The lake seemed to be moving along with me and I realized I had never been to that lake in almost a decade now. The truth was I was miles, years and lifetimes away from where the lake actually exists.

I looked back at my hands and the wrinkles had returned. The knees suddenly gave way and I collapsed looking around for my walking stick and realized I was dreaming.

However, I wasn’t yet awake. I was there on my bed in the silence of that hospital ward and somewhere between the realms of my life and a dream. A tear rolled off my eyes. The pain of returning back to my life was unbearable. I yearned for the dream and tried to numb my mind. I knew I could do it. I knew she’d be waiting. I knew I had to go back.

I shut my eyes tight and let my body loose. I sank deep within myself and let go of my being. I started wiping out the memories of people I’d met and known, the failures and success I had seen, the relationships and possessions that I owned and plunged deeper. I felt my inners melting away and felt a fluid fall into an unknown abyss, I relinquished all control and surrendered my being. The half daze was intoxicating. I could keep my eyes closed and choose not to wake up.

Shortly, my fall landed me back to the same meadow. I continued to walk through those fields and ran along to the same bench by the lake once again. As expected, I found her sitting there, waiting in the same brown floral dress I had remembered her in. She looked at me, smiled and moved to one end on the bench, making space for me to sit. I sat and clasped her hands in mine. She didn’t go away this time. I held on and we sat there for hours, gazing at the sky and the Sun and the birds that flew by. The afternoon never ended.

Outside the dream, the doctor stepped out and declared that I had passed into a deep coma and urged a kin to sign the consent form to take me off the life support system.

I heard the doctor’s call, smiled, looked at her again and held her hand tightly. She moved closer and I brought her fingers to my lips.

Colonial Park, NJ


3 comments :

How do we know said...

surreal this post is... and captures a few things like only u can.

Himanshu Tandon said...

@HDWK - Thanks a ton for all your encouragement. It always feels good to hear from a gifted writer like yourself.

Anonymous said...

Keep writing... keep dreaming... you never know 'dreams might come true'!!!

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