Saturday, March 10, 2018

Life beyond this point is no longer what it was before. The threshold has been crossed. Do not believe if someone tells you that everything will be fine, because it won’t be. It will never be fine again. The bullet lodged in your heart will never find a way out.

When we took the plunge and soared to explore each other, we let go of our footing. No matter how many seasons change, the ecstasy of our little flight will never fade and the adrenaline rush that we discovered while drawing those patterns on each other will never abandon our veins now.

Do you remember the night we talked about the meteor shower? We had kept each other awake through the darkest hour of the night only to discover a cloud cover blanketing our spectacle. Perhaps, our life will forever live under a roof thatched by the tiles of dismay. We will run along in parallel lines, watching each other across the banks but will never really cross the stream between us and there is no turning back either. In this quest to find each other, we have lost ourselves for good.  Let’s accept this, we are ruined for all practical purposes. The only real refuge from this life, now lies in day dreams and false hopes of a future together.

“What would you call this relationship?” I asked you the other day.

“Simple. What else? We are two people who love each other. What else is needed?” is what you replied.

I couldn’t get your answer out of my head. I wish I had your clarity and vision and could abstract myself from the sheet of white noise that blinds our days and nights and blurs our reasoning at times. Love by virtue of its composition is crystal clear and free from all additives. It is only when we mix our social beliefs and parse it through filters of an unrealistic and often unreasonable moral fabric that it turns colloidal and murky.

Keeping it simple and not focusing on anything else but what one feels, helps eradicate all malice of anticipation. There is no reciprocation needed, no acknowledgement required. It is like one suddenly discovers that the ground beneath your feet opens up on the other hemisphere into the same vast universe that is seen above your head and all that fills this infinite space is this prick of craving and longing for each other which doesn’t even require the other person to be aware of.

freeI owe this new found renunciation to the unclouded, heady distilled emotion that has no bearing on the practicalities of the worldly affairs or a hankering to be affiliated to a guild. The dove has been let out from its cage and a new sky awaits. I look forward to this new us – absolved from all expectation, non-judgmental and without a prejudice.

As I said before, the threshold has been crossed…


How do we know said...

I am sort of understanding this post in layers... a little more every time it is re read. Not the sort of post one anticipated on your blog (though you've dealt with pathos earlier), but one that gets truer every day for one person and not so true for another.

You are right. This is a tragic trajectory. Yahaan se aage, sirf Khala hai. Powered by Blogger.