“You have no idea, what you want from me. Do you?” she questioned and leaned back on the chair.
“I think you have already made up your mind that I want something from you. What if, I just want us to be here without a purpose, without a destination. Isn’t that enough?” He smiled.
“That’s not true.” she shot back. “Everyone wants something, it is inherent in human nature to keep moving forward, to take things to the next level; desire more, achieve more and be happy.”
“So, you think we are not happy if we do not want more? Are you implying that you are not content with what we share and what we have?” He implored.
She seemed lost in her thoughts for a while before she answered, “Don’t you think this is a huge commitment then? It is almost like agreeing to sit on a cliff and just be there to enjoy a single view it presents for rest of your life? Don’t you agree that there comes a time, when one is no longer content with what one has and when having just enough, no longer suffices”.
It was his time to think now. He held her hand and affectionately ran his fingers on her palm before answering, "All our lives, we push ourselves to believe that we need more even if we do not know what to do with that extra helping when we get it. The same is true for all relationships. We plateau out and constantly engage ourselves in trying to find the next level and one day, we exhaust ourselves and run out of ideas. In the end, a perfectly balanced equilibrium is easily ruined by a desire to have more. If you do not see us as adequate, nothing ever will be enough.”
He paused and then added, “Listen dear, if we continue to spend ourselves trying to connect the dots from what we possibly were to what we possibly can be, overlooking the fact that there is no sequence to these dots, we will end up with only a big messy crisscross of lines that extend from our palms to the sky above.”
Her face changed a hue and she retorted almost angrily now, “Does this mean that you will never know what you and I will stand for? How can you live like a piece of drift wood, floating with the current? I don’t appreciate or approve this. What do you even need me for?”
He smiled and did not let go of her hand, waited for her to exhale and then replied. “I need you for my sanity. You keep me grounded and I respect you for who you are. I appreciate what you stand for and your values. I am in awe of your energy and things that you manage to squeeze in a day. But, then that is you. I, if you did not notice, am my own person. I am not ambitious. I procrastinate and I am cluttered and go by shabbily at times.”
He waited to ensure he had her attention and then added, “However, if you thought that I was looking for your approval, you couldn’t have been more wrong. I never felt the need to seek a certificate from you that I was adequate for you. Even if we walk the same path together, your journey has always been your own. I respect your freedom and expect mine just as much but, if you see it as an issue, then maybe I will let you walk at your pace and not insist on holding hands and walking along. I will watch you as you go ahead and fade into the horizon but maybe now is the time when I should sit for a while and cool my heels. You are most welcome to stay but if you wish to walk on, I will understand”
At this point, he finished off the last sip of his coffee and looked at her.
She put down her mug, looked up at him and let a lone tear break off at her lips. She picked up her handbag and without another word, headed for the door and was gone.
He kept looking in the same direction for a while and then stood up to leave too.