Let Children Be...

The other day a dear friend posted her woes of having wasted 4 good multiplex tickets by stepping out of a running show (and well going by the way weekend cinema tickets are priced these days, it sure is a loss to write home about).

She relied on the misleading censor ratings for a latest Hindi flick and took her kids along. After having been served with choicest of obscenities in the language and an exceptional skin show in the first few minutes that the movie ran, she thought it was wiser to just step out of the theater. Though she had already risked scarring the innocent child psyche of her kids, both under 10 years of age, by exposing them to the profane radiation of the visuals and abhorrent clamor of the dialogues, I think, she still made the right choice as a responsible parent and mother.

I admire my friend for her decision to step out instead of sitting through the entire show. I am sure that there would have been other parents in the cinema hall who would have held onto their seats lest the money that they had already spent went waste. I am sure that the reason most of these folks would have given themselves would have been that their child is too small to understand the crux of these dialogues and understand why the ‘aunty’ on the screen is so ‘shame-shame’. These are the parents who later discover to their horror that their child has been using the same street lingo in the company of his class mates at school or ogling at girlie pictures from his dad’s cabinet/computer way before his age. 

The advent of media in our lives is unprecedented. I have written about the ills of the same in various forums and magazines earlier too but somehow feel the same passion and anger at this invasion every time that I think about it.

How can I control and discipline my child is a question that I have heard many parents ask. I guess a better question to be put is how can I set an example before my kid for him to follow?

Parenting has become a different ball game altogether in the last two decades or so, especially in the urban household. The metropolitan parents have little time for their kids and the overall ‘globalization’ of the art of parenting is not helping the cause. India is yet to see babysitting as a profession but the number of upcoming day care facilities that are mushrooming in all parts of the NCR is already an indication of the changing laws and norms of parenting.

Earlier when grandma’s bedtime stories used to play a pivotal role in defining the creativity and imagination of a child, they also automatically took care of preserving a child’s innocence and the bonding played its part in keeping the family ties alive. The changing face of job scenario and shifting of the younger creed to the metropolitan cities in pursuit of a global career has automatically made the grandparents as an obsolete generation. Additionally the growing demand and the steeping prices of housing in these leading cities has further ensured that more and more families are becoming nuclear and getting distributed and farther apart from their native places. Preserving the native values and family ties – the very basis of Indian culture is being lost to a generation who lives by the gadgets and swears by the malls and the glitzy shopping spaces.

In face of this changing scenario, it won’t be surprising if your ten year old son decides to give you an update to the stork story that you have been telling him (including the news of the latest hot MMS in the market). If the truth about birds and bees is already known to your 9 year old daughter and if she has already been questioning her mom on what to wear on her first date, its time for you to take a voluntary retirement as a parent, for you sure haven’t done a great job.

I guess it is important for children to remain children as long as possible. Innocence lost is no paradise gained. It is vital for a parent today to show discretion and be a filter for the kid, absorbing all what is unwanted.

The problem is that parents do not where to draw the line between what they want for themselves and what they want for the kids. It is often the craving of a grown up that forms and determines the child’s behavior. Consider for example the eating habits of children these days, your child can never get a hang of unhealthy fries if you choose not to visit the neighborhood burger joint.

Pause and think about it, aren’t clay toys still better than the Chinese plastic ones? (Now, if you want to initiate a debate on the ill effects of clay on your child’s guts, you probably have lost the point altogether).

Anyway, the point is simple – save children from the media frenzy, limit their daily dosage of TV and get cracking on their usage of Internet. Allow kids to be out there in the park than gather dust on the couch. Show discipline and lead by example and probably that should take care of everything.

Save childhood. Let children be children.