My Wonder Years…

About a quarter past 4, third week of December and the feeble sunshine of the setting sun looking to give up its battle against the approaching cold evening. As I left office, I looked up towards the sky. It’s a funny feeling - the cold wind bites your face and the little sunshine from the setting sun gives you a warm tingling sensation.

And every time this happens, my thoughts wander off to you. I remember myself from the years gone by when I would be out in this weather on one pretext or the other and come by to see you. Somehow I still clearly remember the golden glow on your face from one of these days. As you stood in the balcony reading a book, the sun lit up your countenance by all the fire it contained. The wind blew your hair and the orange hue all around made me stop and savor the moment.

I drank the nectar of this vision as much as I could and stood in a corner hidden from the eyes of everyone around. It must have been a lifetime because when my spell broke, the grey evening was shedding its adolescence to grow into a youthful starry night - bejeweled and crispy. I remember all those nights which slowly melted away into lazy mornings and kept me awake. A pocket transistor played songs from a previous era in a hushed volume and I snuggled into my quilt holding onto the pillow weaving dreams with open eyes - the silence of the night punctuated by my cold sighs and an occasional whispering of your name.

Those were my wonder years. I basked in that thin melting sunshine, looked at clear blue skies lying on a mat on the roof and wondered what the next day would bring for me without a care in the world. I played my heart out in the open fields and ran home to open arms. My cycle could take me anytime and anywhere I wanted to go. My friends knew what I was thinking and I could decipher their smiles without anybody having to say anything.

Somewhere along the line I let go of things. I let go of the colors that held me together. It’s a different story now. Each day begins with its own expectations, its own deadlines and schedules. Life, it seems is an unending excel sheet now. I am recording my minutes and losing my years. I don’t even remember when was it that my first grey hair appeared, the last I know there’s one in my beard now. The athlete in me gave way to this ugly looking obese technology worker I refuse to recognize in mirror at times. The wonder years lost to the blunder years and here am I. I am no more intrigued by the crossroads, am not bothered by which road to take. I shall walk on until my feet refuse to carry me, until my neck breaks by the weight on my head, until the day doesn’t end.

So long my wonder years…maybe I shall see you run past me on some other cross road. For now, its another day, its another deadline tomorrow.