The Silent Night

I would have celebrated this silence had you been a witness to it. The darkness looms large and the cold air sweeps in from the broken glass of the bedroom window. My head is too heavy to allow my hands to move and wrap myself in a sheet. Unmoved, I lie flat on my stomach with my shoes still on. Sleep jeers on like slow death – tormenting with its tentacles while keeping itself at bay.

It took a lifetime for my parched throat to win a long and hard battle against my limbs. My arms whimpered and searched for the water bottle I had thrown by the bed side a night before. The bottle yielded a mouthful and I slumped back again. The arm retracted and finally came down with a soft ‘thud’ on the pillow next to me.

The heavy pall of silence engulfed the night again. It refused to budge no matter how hard I tried pushing it away with contrived resplendent imagery.It hasn’t been long since I moved out and decided to be on my own. The shackles had cut deep into my being. Perhaps it was the continued tinge of pain that I had gotten used to and that was what I missed now. It was almost as if someone who had been subjected to years of deafening noise was suddenly thrown into a silent valley. No matter how deep the silence is one constantly heard the screaming noise in one’s ears that once had been a part and parcel of life. Perhaps the theory is true for people and relationships as well. The pain refuses to subside and when it finally does one is uncomfortable at the loss.

I guess my abstractions continue to soar and for once I do not wish to let them fade away. I have always believed that death is only a punctuation, an abetment to carry on in some other form, in some other place – afresh. It is life in the shadows that irks me. The cusp of light and dark, the eerie black light between the night and day is what makes me unsure. However, there is little I can do at the moment.

Maybe I shall just let things be and not struggle to move them at my pace or as per my liking. Perhaps for now I shall let the silent night rule as I keep awake looking out of the window for the day to break.