A Brand New Heart

 

I need a brand new heart.

I guess the one I had for so long has really worn out. The austere valves no longer pump the same ebullient blood in my veins as they once did. The edges are all blunt and the beat does not reverberate the same music into my soul any more. The poor mass of flesh is no longer incited by beauty, nor stirs up any enthusiasm at any wonder of the world.

The canvas lies barren and the colors are all dried up. Perhaps the blood in the veins has also thickened and hence tires out my central pump in no time. The crimson sap of life needs to be scraped off its floor time and again for it to maintain a livable volume. The emotions that would once take me to higher realms fume out easily at little rise in temperature.

A vocal chord goes out of tune, a mass of grey cells cinders out without much smoke and a tear takes out the sight off an eye and all because the kernel of existence is depleted of strength and energy as the monotony takes its toll. The fagged core can’t be blamed though. I guess in an attempt to turn the lucent flame blaze, I set my candle afire at both ends. The jaded embers now mock me as I sit alone craving to go back in time.

But I shall let my cerement wait for me a little longer. I am not willing to be palled by time as yet. Somewhere at the back of my mind, still exists a dream which springs up once in a while and reminds me of what it could have been. I pine to run those last laps of my race once again, yearn to be a captive of my lust and gluttony and paint those rainbows in sparkling, vivid hues of my blood all over again. The pain though excruciating has been toothless in killing the hope. My eyes still look up at the slightest hint of light.

Maybe a new heart shall come with its new God, perhaps who is a little more merciful. I don’t know. The dawning Sun shall bring its own set of questions and a new quest as well. I shall bide my time till then and wait till a new beat is received.

Until then, I shall let the fuel of life, scathe my core all it can, either till it wipes me out or the hope and desire that lives within it.