In Passing…

I need another dream. Another reason for me to sift through my being all over again. My reality is farced with all ingredients that I had to compromise on. I always thought a ‘U’ turn would be easy and that I could always go back. Perhaps I didn’t realize that the farther I went, the lower I got on the fuel that propelled me. And here am I, now, at this juncture where the path forward and the road I would like to return to are equidistant, if not more.

I told someone years ago that life doesn’t give you second chances. I believed in it, yet I wanted to confute myself. Sadly, I was right the first time itself.

These are strange days. The mornings and evenings are both alike. I sit by the same window and go through my hours looking into the screen, filtering information and yet doing nothing purposeful. One of these days would be my last on this window sill. I don’t know as yet if I shall miss it anymore than it shall miss me being here listening to it. Maybe, I am living the last of my best…maybe the best is yet to come – I don’t know.

It is not very far now that I shall return to you. I shall rest my load by your feet and wait for you to check my account and tell me if the entire journey was of some consequence. I don’t know if you would want me to take the trip again. I guess we would come around to that in due course of time.

Meanwhile, spring has set in again. The saplings are looking out to the skies again. There is just a tinge of green in the eye now. Dry leaves are giving way to the mulch from which shall rise new blooms in a fortnight or so. There is color around and a hope to get a splash too.

The old dream hunches and crackles with an ailing ember. Maybe it’s time to let go, maybe to add another block of wood and reignite the flame. I sit back waiting – holding my reins wishing for fresher tides and new tomorrows.