The Life Before.…

“What is never started will never get finished” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

People think that there is only one life between the day they are born and the time when the elements consume their mortal body. It isn’t so. There are several lives one must live before one finally closes a chapter. I personally do not think there is anything called death but then I will never know. Let’s just say that I think that death doesn’t end anything. It is just the conclusion of a chapter or the culmination of an act of a play. A person goes through several lives before he faces that termination, we call death.

Who was I before I was born here? Did you follow me though the channels of life and birth before finally abandoning me here? The tales of my heart – did I spin them here now or did I always carry them with me? Why were you born as you and not me? What do you feel inside your body? Do you see the colors the same way as I do? Do you feel the same pain and battle the same pangs of hunger and crave for the same pleasures? Who is the One I pray to? Is your God any different than mine?

I look at my child and I feel hope for my salvation. Was my child always a part of me or is she a part of me at all? I have always been fascinated by the hollow vastness of the space. The infinite abyss  and its mysterious abundance humbles me. Do you also feel this pull when you look at the stars? Do you also feel that we are not entirely alone? What if we are just limited by our senses and there are actually Gods amongst us?

Where will I be when I am not here anymore? Does any of this stuff actually matter? The concept of a family, parents, children, strings of the heart and people who you harm and hurt during the course of this life – is there actually any truth in it? Why was I born on this planet? What is the purpose of this life? Why should I be affected by what this body suffers?

The things that I do for money, I call that my work. It consumes one third of my life, perhaps more, is it actually any work at all or mere distraction? The person who first invented the concept of money – was he even human or someone who was trying to prevent us from asking these questions? What is religion after all and what makes someone walk into a busy public gathering and throw a bomb in the name of God?

I picked a dream and mixed it with some play dough. I filtered some tears and tore an old page from a diary that belongs to another life and I realized I have been missing the whole point all these years. My life and the days that I consume, the sunsets that I witnessed and the sunrises that I missed were just checkpoints in a continuum. I will never see either end of it. Maybe I existed all along, maybe I was never there. Whatever be the case, I end a life tonight and will begin another tomorrow morning.

The life before was a prelude, what follows is the celebration. The open cask welcomes all without a prejudice. Touch my hand before it gets cold and falls off. I am way too tired to rise now but I see you from beneath my closed eyelids. Do not waste your tears here. Use them to wash off the grime on your soul. I abandon my worth here in this dust only to come back afresh some other day.

My child, I may not get a chance to have a word with you in person but I bequeath you all that I gathered over the years when I was around you, holding you and protecting you. How you filter the valuable from the waste will be the story of your life. Do not judge me by what you discover. I will carry that load on my head when I leave. You don’t have to celebrate who I was or mourn who you lost. A part of me will continue my journey in you.

Who I died as was my life before – I will live my next in you, till the day you forsake this and begin another.