The Silence…

I am beginning to like this silence. It is much more comforting than your words will ever be. I can modulate it to hum my favorite tune or whisper those sweet nothings that you never had the words for. I can press it between the pages of a book and spread it on my bed and pull out one thread at a time and weave myself a bedtime tale. The silence has no bounds. It is limitless much like myself. I can throw it at the sky and it becomes a roof. I can then burn little holes of prayer into it and make the rains sieve through.

My silence scared you, you said. But then fear has a limit and a breaking point. Once the threshold is reached, the fear cracks and one tends to either fight back or succumb. The silence is eternal. It will go on and stay long after I am gone and you are gone and even the world as we know is gone. My ashes will fly and seek another cloud. I don’t think you even care as much. Once the bridges are burnt, what goes on at the other end is insignificant. Our stories will be judged and viewed in light of which end the reader stands. Your lights burn bright, my house sleeps engulfed in that deep soothing darkness. It is this difference that my silence stands a witness to and becomes a pillar or my resolve.

My quest has been cut short this time and I had to turn back before I could lean over the edge and discover the truth. Maybe I have lost power or the courage to see it now. Maybe this return is the time I must renew my faith and bind with the universal energy all over again. You think I am cryptic – I am not actually. The one who can read these words is warped in a parallel universe and often leans over and waves and smiles at me. I haven’t been doing justice to that smile either. It is about time to make that turn and do what I have always be known to do – break rules and achieve what is not expected from me.

I don’t know if I will fail or succeed. I don’t think it matters anymore. What matters is that I have taken the plunge and I am falling at my own pace and at my own free will. Of course, you will not hear about it. Not now, not ever…my ally in this fall in my silence and I stand by it.