Eklavya's Thumb - Ouch, It hurts!!

Readers in India would know the mythological lore of 'Eklavya' and about his cutting off and presenting his right thumb to Guru Drona as his 'Guru Dakshina' (try looking up for tales from Mahabharata on Google, if you have no clue to what I am talking about).

I was so reminded of this story after having gotten a very nasty hit on the thumb of my right hand last week while playing cricket. In fact the blow was so severe that I doubled up on the field despite wearing all the gloves and the padding and had to be off the field for the rest of the match.

What followed later was more agony and getting my thumb plastered and making it useless for a while. I am into software for my bread and butter and those who would be reading this might know how important is the thumb to anyone using the space bar on the keyboard. So, naturally this little traumatizing pain on my hand put me off work for a while and as a normal course of action derailed my train of thoughts and led me to think of how Eklavya would have managed his daily chores after having lost his thumb in his ordeal.

I am sure, the pain and heartbreak of not being able to become the greatest archers in the world would have felt small had he been subjected to the excruciation of the task of buttoning his trouser every morning. (I am sure he would have had his share of difficulties with his 'Dhoti' as well)

Anyway the experience of having a non-functional thumb has led me to put together a list of some very practical situations that I had to deal with. Maybe this shall serve as a warning to any inspiring 'Kalyugi Eklavyas' planning to sever their thumbs and presenting it their teachers on the next Teacher's Day (yuck...) and refrain them to some regular Archies gallery merchandise only.

OK, as a foreword to the reader before they get to the list, please don't try and act smart by saying you could do all this using your left hand, for if you are born right hander, you would be using your natural hand first to do all this, trust me!

Anyway here it goes...

Situation 1: Opening your eyes to the world: All the painkillers and concoctions that you take to heal yourself and have a sound sleep, makes it equally difficult for you to open your eyes in the morning. Imagine this, you manage to pull yourself out of the slumber, drag yourself out of your sheets and grope around the floor with your feet looking for your slippers thinking about how many drinks you had last night to end up feeling like this in the morning, when you realize that the slipper you are looking for is not there.

Now there is something equally tormenting and sinister about the slippers too. They somehow sense when a person is down and out and then travel to the most accurately pointed center under the bed on their own, no matter where you left them previous night, before climbing into the bed.

Anyway, this is still not the worst part. It happens when you have totally forgotten about the broken thumb and you haul yourself into the washroom somehow and look forward to get some water on your face to help you open your eyes. You keep thinking about looking at the fresh morning and the beautiful day that every morning show host keeps harping about and then you realize that some thing has gone terribly wrong.

You try rotating the knob of the tap to get some water to wash your face and open your eyes and a sharp lash of pain rings from your thumb to the farthest joint on your elbow and your eyes open up wide enough to pop out of the socket. You look down at the faucet and see yourself trying to hold onto it with a broken thumb and arrive at the conclusion "You should not try opening a tap with a broken thumb"

Situation 2: Squeeze hard for a fresh breath: The situation 2 follows the previous one. You have somehow managed to open the tap and done the needful, the next normal course of action is to get some toothpaste on your toothbrush.

What really amazes me is the fact that a person is equipped to retain a lasting impression of an event that happened years ago and can memorize multiple phone numbers and birthdays of all his girlfriends and even remember the atomic weights of all the elements in the periodic table, yet his short term memory fails him when needed most.

No sooner that you hold the toothpaste in your hand you are reminded that you no longer hold the capacity to uncap the same and squeeze it on top of your brush as you normally could, yet somehow one is tempted to try the feat just one more time and feel the whip tinge through again.

Conclusion "Squeezing toothpaste can be a dangerous stunt in state of broken thumbs and should be performed only in assistance and supervision of a trained professional"

Situation 3: The button and the 'fly': This particular situation shall make you go down on your knees and pray for your speedy recovery. You would want to seek Lord's forgiveness for your misdeeds and may even want to commit your life to devotion and charity. No matter what 'feat' have you been able to manage so far living on a single thumb, chances are that this shall top the list. 

Envision this, you have somehow managed to tie plastic bags around your hand and have even managed to bathe and then dry yourself. You somehow also managed to pull your undergarments. Inadvertently you begin to believe that order has been restored in your world and you put on a smile and pick out a pair of trousers to wear to the office.

You stand tall looking into the mirror, get your legs into the trousers and manage to pull it up as well, and then..... hell breaks loose. No matter how much you try, you can't get the button on the belt of the trouser to get into the loop or get the fly up the zipper without using your right thumb.

I guess this situation should not be taken lightly as it can easily extend to the state of social embarrassments if you have a weak bladder.

Anyway, don't ask me if I have been traveling in my 'pyjamas' to the office all these days, for your sake just remember "If faced with a broken thumb, have an aide by your side with standing instructions on buttoning up the trouser and zipping up the fly" or get some custom trousers made with elastic in the belt.

Well, I am sure people who would be reading this shall have their own custom situations for the case of the broken thumb.  I am adding a few additional points to complete the list. I am sure one would be able to extend this to a practical impacting situation.

1. Starting the Car, try turning the key in the ignition.
2. Difficulty in shooting those bloody enemy soldiers in 'Call of Duty' if you are hooked on to XBox Gaming Console
3. Eating respectably with a spoon. (Needs no explanation, I guess)
4. If you are fond of keeping your wallet in the back pocket of your trousers (like most men do), I am sure you would run into trouble getting it out of the pocket. Well, I am still keeping mine in the left pocket.

Do feel free to post in your experiences on the subject (if any) and I shall append the same to the list above.

Catch me later, I am off for a 'Thums-Up' now.