Die Another Day..

I had read the following lines somewhere and some how liked them so much to print them on a sheet and pin it in my cubicle in the office. The lines read as following:

"My candle burns at both the ends, It may not last the entire night But 'Ah!' my friends and 'Oh!' my foes It does make a lovely sight "

The lines continued to live on in my memory and it seems that they got transcended in my life as well. My normal day lasts me 18 hours of work, often even more. I am surrounded by my fancies and my strive for perfection in little things I do, doesn't let me rest my head . My urges and my pastimes absorb the remaining part of me. Hours slip away drop by drop, yet I cease to exhaust myself. I refuse to be tired. I have never turned down any offer to work. To stretch just that little bit more has never been a problem. I have been relentless in my efforts, restless with my relations. Its been just about three decades and it seems a lifetime full already. Still the question of having done enough does not arise. I live as if I was immortal, willing to challenge anything, careless to let go of everything.

There are not many around who remember me, hardly any who know me. I guess I don't need anybody's attention, probably till the time I am not afraid of myself. I am rash, reckless and not scared to touch new lows every day.

There is no time for being retrospective. The war with conscience is now easily won. There are no battles to fuel blood anymore. The gook flowing in the veins is too potent to kill and burn holes in the being of anyone who dares to sip the fire I breath out.

My skin keeps peeling off and I have a tough time keeping my smile pasted. The chinks in the armor are still not visible as the light is low. In broad sunlight, the eyes blind and smoke escapes in spurts. Forget the light, I am not used to it anymore, anyway.

The clock announces an hour after midnight. The little lamp struggles hard and I keep my eyes wide open, my mind alert for any sound in the vicinity. The silence blankets my being.

I guess its about time and I feel ready to go. Somewhere deep inside, I know its not happening as yet. I am unbreakable, can still count my beats and my sluggish pulse calls me again to try and catch some sleep.

Madonna reminds me,

I think I'll find another way, There's so much more to know.................... I guess I'll die another day, It's not my time to go...