The Illusion of Closeness

I realized this today – A perfect relationship between two people is the one where you can share anything about yourself and the other person doesn’t judge you. It doesn’t alter the equation of your relationship and that…a perfect relationship doesn’t exist.

My earliest experiments with truth were during my high school, with people I deemed closest then and they turned out to be disasters with a profound impact on my psyche forever. I swore to myself that I will always retain a certain personal shell around me and that no one will ever be allowed inside and the belief that we are never truly close to anyone only strengthened with time.

To the world, one always tries to paint a picture that is in conformance with widely accepted norms. There can never be someone who can know you to an extent where your fears are unleashed, your darkest deepest desires are disclosed or your inner devil is exposed. There are skeletons in every closet and the moment you allow someone to get close enough to discover the chinks in your armor, you accede to be exploited.

The nearness that one shares or aspires to share is just an illusion of closeness; an inspired mirage – a lie that you tell yourself so many times that you start believing it as truth. I have seen people live under the same roof for years and yet unable to vocally express themselves or speak their mind just because they know that the other person will never be able to see it in the same light. No matter how much people profess to not take an offense, there always exists a certain threshold after which a harmless joke can be misinterpreted or a statement, even supported by several examples, can hurt an ego.

Things that are often left unsaid can be about your personal needs, your past, your likes, fantasies or mere opinions. However, the silence that is maintained, is always about building a wall to disallow people from knowing who you actually are. When the bubble bursts, relationships are wrecked, friendships crumble and people fall apart.

Only if, the shroud of false ego and pretense of self worth was discarded and we could shed our motley garb and embrace the sunlight with open arms, life wouldn’t feel so complicated. It took mankind several years of evolution to learn to dress up and perhaps will take millions more to shake off the layers that we have put on our bare soul.

I guess, I will just conclude this post here without making it sound cheesy or end up being a drab essay. There is a personal learning with this post and I will leave it at that. For now, the significance remains, being open in my dealings, speaking my mind and staying honest about what I believe in.