Things you should never say to your wife

Experience does teach you a lot of things I guess. Read along for a list of things that you should never say to your wife. For those who are still bachelors, take that as a lesson, for those who are 'happily' married, revise your lessons.

Please note that the list is not lifted from any existing Internet post and I have actually been able to think through each of these items and key them here.

Enjoy and do drop in your comments and feedback.

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Did you see the commercial for the new Slim Sauna Belt designed specially for women to get rid of the flabby thighs?

Hey Honey, is there another chair under you?

I guess I know that sister/cousin of yours from a MMS that one of my college buddies had sent me some time ago. You know she didn't have much of a 'dressing' sense that time either.

You know this tasted so much better when my mom cooked it last time that she was here.

Come, let's buy you an Unlimited calling plan for your mobile, I can keep paying for that from my savings account. (If you do actually say that make sure you get a medical check up done soon after)

Haven't you bought enough shoes already??? (to hand out a pair each to every person living in Africa and still be left enough to hand a pair each to every person living in Australia)

You know my last girlfriend (right before I got married) had better skin, but who cares, you have an excellent (don't ever pause here...don't look around... and whatever you say don't ever ever say this) ... You have a fine nose, though just a little crooked at the tip.

What do you mean, the book 'My man - My Master' does not qualify to be a present for you on our wedding anniversary?

Can we not watch "Balika Vadhu" tonight? There's this game..(No case of a finished sentence on this one has been reported as yet)

Of course I remember your birthday dear !! It is on......(dare you pause on this one and you are dead meat)... It is on.........(please at least finish your sentence)....It is on............(Its' over man. RIP)

Of course I know your favorite color. It is Red... No....mmm Pink?...No.......Purple??? .....(Any guesses beyond three are useless totally, even if you get the right one)

Come on I know what color is Lavender? I know It looks just like pink. Of course I know Mauve, it is just like the Pink dress you are wearing, just a tad lighter that's it. Beige...mmm isn't that a darker pinkish....

See I did want to buy you a rose this Valentine, but then they were selling it at 50/- a piece as against the regular price of 5/- so I thought I would send you an E-Card instead...Didn't you check your email?

Oh, Come on !!! What use are flowers and Soft Toys anyway???

I know it's Sunday. That is the whole point of sleeping till noon and when did I say that I would take you shopping this Sunday?

You know it is so much fun when you talk and give your inputs when I drive.

I think kids love me more.

What do you mean, I need to shave??

Come on honey, it was different earlier. We are married now.

Sigh !! I really think we should have had a longer courtship period.

Is it you snoring or did I leave the motor for water running again?

Do you have an anti-dote for your cooking? (Don't ever pretend choking after that cheeky comment, you may not get the chance to laugh later)

Let's talk about it. Tell me all you want. (It's strictly prohibited to snore during the "conversation")

You look so much better after I have had a bottle of Vodka.

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