The Circle

The circle loops back again. It repeats itself every few days and I am beginning to get tired of it now. It’s time to follow a tangent and branch out perhaps – find new skies and fresher grounds. We came a long way but every journey must come to an end. Perhaps this is where I get down and break the infinite loop.

I have said this a couple of times before, repeated myself in the process and realized it has come to a point where anything I say makes no difference. My words break at the walls of your self absorbed defiance and wash down the drain, wasted at the altar. Been hardened in the oven of all those heated exchanges, I won’t even complain now. Instead I will just pull out my recliner from the living room to the porch and enjoy my evening sip with the setting Sun, soaking myself in the bourbon of the fading sunlight, filling the emptiness with a darkness and shutting out the world in my head.

I have never believed in moderation. I will either go full steam at this all over again or just throw in the towel and hang my boots forever. I haven’t lost hope as yet, but the prospects of only achieving a crippled recovery now, doesn’t bring me any inspiration. I would rather snuff the candle out than see it suffer in the wee hours.

I remember shutting you out once and I will do that again. Only that, I will not leave a little window open for you to peek inside and pass me a little note under the door. A relationship, unlike people, should not be left on a ventilator. Either, it should be allowed to recover and get battle ready or be granted euthanasia.

I will wait outside tonight and watch the stars fade into the morning Sun as you try and sleep tonight and decide what you want to do.

Until then, we will continue to walk in circles, chasing our shadows.