Tell Me

Tell me,
Did you ever love someone so much that you couldn’t bear to be with yourself anymore? Ever missed someone so bad that you couldn’t endure the sound of your own heartbeat? Have you ever rued a decision in your life to such an extent that you wanted to blow your brains out? Tell me, if you ever wished to be a little patch of black, blend in the shadows and be lost to this world and its ways, when the darkness fell?

Tell me,
How come I landed here, at this crossroad in life? I wanted it to be simple, linear and just around you. Where did I falter? Was I never good for my own accord? I feel sick looking at myself in the mirror for not being able to turn it around when it mattered. The plot of my life is so lame that I despise myself for my existence. I never vied for a purpose, I was never ambitious, I had no designs to seek greatness. All I ever aspired was a mediocre life, sustaining enough to be self reliant and the fact that I couldn’t even muster as much makes me want to punish myself with every breath. Tell me, have you ever felt the burden of a day’s journey, so heavy that you wished you were never born.

Tell me,
Have you ever hoped to explode into so many tiny pieces that no one could ever put the jigsaw together? Have you ever yearned for an end so insignificant that it raises no eyebrows, causes no tears, ruffles no feathers? Has there been a day in your life when you wished you could just wake up from this dream and go back to a time when you could pick another door for yourself? Have you ever felt like tying the rocks of all your fake memories and hopeless dreams to your ankles and jump into an ocean so deep that it warrants no search. Tell me, have you ever prayed so hard for your love to be accepted that your eyes bled?

Tell me,
Have you ever craved to be so inebriated that you could no longer remember your name? Have you ever considered walking head-on into incoming traffic to get rid of your apathy? When the sap of life dries out, the only cure to your thirst is your own blood, did you ever think of slitting your wrists and sipping on the poison that flows through your veins? Have you ever pined for someone so much, that you deliberated at digging your nails in your chest and ripping the cage open to set the lark free? Tell me, did you ever desire someone so much, that you wanted to believe in a possible union in an after-life?

Tell me, please !!!

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The following rejoinder was shared by “The Cloudcutter” on the above post. I feel it is even better than the original post and hence, appending it here.

Tell me,
Have you ever hollowed out your chest and emptied that space inside so it no longer contained the remnants of an unfinished story or the stale air of regret? Have you ever taken your blood-pumping, beating heart and buried it deep in the recesses of a wall that hid a million silent screams? Have you ever sat face-to-face with your lover with stone-cold eyes that were dead from despair and silently pierced every bubble of hope between you?

Tell me,
Have you ever spent a day from dawn to dusk going against the grain, not giving in, not reaching out, not caressing those thoughts, not spilling out those beans, just not being yourself? And, have you done that for several days in a row and then weeks and months and years until eternity stretched before you like a blanket of broken dreams?

Tell me,
Have you ever promised yourself you would never fill that emptiness inside your chest again or rescue the live heart you buried? Have you ever tried getting through a single day not replaying the most tender moments that your calloused palms and tired face ever witnessed? Have you ever tried to drown out the very sounds that once reminded you that you were alive?

Tell me…